well

Who well? How well? Do we actually know the people we say we know? I think about this often as i gaze through profile sites. Reading through people I know and used to know, or at least i thought i did. I like to picture people, like they are holding up a picture frame in front of their faces. A muscled canvas of sorts to display just what they would like for the world to see. How did they become that picture they are today. Will they ever show you the imperfections that once where, the hidden things that can easily go unsaid? I ponder these things as i watch my loved ones laugh and tell story's. Only showing you you a glimpse of themselves, a mere smudge in their painting, and a part of me feels saddened that I might not know them at all. Why don't I? Is it a fear of asking questions, or just never the right time to really talk.
I find myself feeling lucky that i have been given the chance to really know someone right now, that i have felt the closeness and trust in someone knowing me that well. I am able to still feel like i can say i know my sons, and i feel relieved that I can acknowledge that this might be a temporary thing. No matter how hard i try to fight it, someday i might not know them at least not like i know them now. They will get to point in their lives when they will put up the frame and and that will be all i see. Its not a cheery thought but its real.
Like most parents I will ramble my ramblings and no matter how hypocritical they might be I hold my frame in front of my face. Only showing my boys, whom i love so much, the picture of what i want them to remember me by. I know my canvas must seem rather impressionistic. A mess of colors and emotions that from a distance seem to make up a pretty picture. But up close it is a chaotic spill that hold no real pattern or destiny. Hiding all those deep imperfections and smudges i have made along the way. I wonder what my painting looks like through their eyes. If they even see what i portray?
They say art is in the eye of the beholder, who ever "THEY" may be. Well as the beholder I will tell you what I see. I see my life to be fun. Full of spontaneity and fascination. Wide eyed and rich with love. True feelings that burst with color and show through in my painting. I want to be known to those who love me. Because nothing quite feels the same as being really known, someone has to genuinely love and have a great interest to take the time and find out who you are. Its a pretty big deal when you think about it. Not to be taken lightly and defiantly worth the time. So if anything comes of this i hope you this gave you a little more clarity on who i am. Or at least what I'm thinking. :) much love!

Bugs

I miss them. I just don't see them anymore. Now don't get me wrong, I love the winter season. The holidays are cozy and I long for snow most of the year. But living in beautiful Washington state you get a lot of crap weather after the new year. Rain for a day can be refreshing and calming. Rain for a week is a whole other story. I'm not a big fan of being outside in the rain, maybe summer rain when its warm, but when it's 40 degrees out, the last thing I want to be is wet. So I'm indoors a lot right now. Missing things like bugs. Now i know bugs aren't the most pleasant thing to most people but they fascinate me. I love to take their little spontaneous portraits. I can spend a day chasing them around and I take great pride in my bug pictures. My boys love it too and help scout for me a lot in the summer. Its been a passion now for a couple years and i just keep getting more into it. I can just imagine what an incredible job that would be. Going to far off places and hunting down amazing insects just to take their pictures and make them known to the world. Spending days in the jungle or high in the mountains. It would make such incredible adventures. Maybe someday after the kids are grown . I can travel the globe in search of my bugs. But for now i would just like to be able to spend a day on a bug hunt. I just need a day of sun. So for now i'll introduce you to some of my fav clients of 2005-6. Ohh and just a friendly reminder from my exoskeletal friends "tread lightly, the life you save just might be mine." ( I'm so stinking cheesy)







Love even the smallest being

Hello new place

Hi I'm Lisa, and this will be my new scribble home. I like to think of myself as a decent writer, but most of what i write is just mind vomit. I don't like reading meaningless dribble so i wont write any. So for now I'll leave this short and sweet. ~ Peace